Your MIND PSi and Comfort Zones.
I was talking to a bloke on Facebook the other day who’d just been to see his favourite personal development guru for about the 20th time.
As always he was enthused, energized, excited and, at least looking at him from where I sit, totally confused.
He was gushing the “You’ve got to Grow!” Mantra so popular over the last 40 years with the vast majority of self development evangelists.
Apparently without growth there is no life, without growth there is nothing but stagnation, without growth you are a pathetic underachieving idiot with no life, no chance of happiness and as for ever being a fully rounded and satisfied individual; loving, being loved, or having the home you have always dreamed of will never happen, not without growing it wont.
And apparently ‘growing’ in human terms has nothing to do with your belly, your brain or your barnet (slang for hair), and it has nothing to do with your age either. Growth in personal development terms means learning new stuff, being constantly challenged and leaping out of your ‘Comfort zone’ to battle with and embrace the new you. And to do that constantly and consistently.
And you are often being told this by people who should know. Some of them have been delivering this wisdom without change in anything except volume, fashion and technology for over thirty or even forty years.
Yes that’s right. Apart from the odd change of how they give you the message, the message has remained the same. And it many cases it hasn’t grown, if anything it’s reduced.
The only growth in practical matters has been in investment, properties and mailing lists. The people themselves have done what we are designed to do as humans, found something they love doing, something they are very good at and something they can repeatedly do over and over again well within their comfort zone.
And repeatedly do it.
And they have done it for the biggest part of their lives.
And this is where the confusion starts. Part of you knows there is something amiss here. The part of you that is designed to discover the place and role where you get FISH, Fulfilment Inspiration Satisfaction and Happiness, and stay there getting very good at what you do there and well, just enjoying it.
And I am the first to recognise that for some people that means trying out new stuff all the time. The Performers in life have to do that, it’s where they live. The truth is Their comfort zone IS taking risks. And they get damn good at it as well, the rest of us however will never find contentment doing what they do.
The comfort zone for the Observer for instance is comfortable almost anywhere. They carry their own comfort zone with them and it’s often remarked that they are the confident one simply because wherever they are, they are always aware of where they are.
For the Evaluator the comfort zone is regulated, ordered and systematic. I know several who, even though they are not working in an office, will always start work at 9am and finish at 5pm.
Predictors however play everything safe and the word Comfort for them really means making sure it won’t go wrong, but building safety nets and feeling secure is what they are good at, comfort zones are their strength.
And for the Dreamers being comfortable is none of the above. For them its all about how things feel rather than what they are, and of course how others feel around them and they certainly feel good around people who are really IN their comfort Zone.
I think, no I do, I very often just have a good think. Usually in places other people find the most uncomfortable, like stuck in traffic or in a busy roadside cafe, but I’m an Observer and take my comfort zone with me.
And I think we humans are hardwired not to continually step outside our comfort zone but to find out what that is. Find something to do inside it, and to get very good at thing and repeat it.
I guess it’s the terminology at fault. Growth means to continually extend and which of course isn’t exactly what happens in nature.
A tree doesn’t continuously grow although that an analogy often spouted to us. A tree gets as big as it can within the confines of it’s environment and then pretty much stays the same. Okay it replaces bits that fall off, but it isn’t really growing, it’s just being a tree.
Your mind doesn’t grow either if you cram it with new stuff. If that happened your brain would start off the size of a pea and to steal from one of my favourite authors, you’d end up with a brain the size of a planet. It changes yes, but it doesn’t move around a lot and for most people seems to be pretty happy in the comfort zone of the skull.
At least the really clever people I know don’t have too much grey matter poking out of their ears or nostrils.
So, it isn’t about extending or jumping out of your comfort zone. It is about discovering what that is and finding something to keep you there that you can get very very god at dong and replicating.
That is after all what every single very successful personal development guru has ever done, or could ever do.
Think about it.
Till next time stay well and wealthy